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Chairman's chat...call it sloppy seconds
05 May 2012

That's right folk...bigger, bolder and with marginally less rigidity than last time...this week sees the Secklow bandwagon heading to the northern territories. Has Liverpool ever seen anything like this display of maroon-based intensity and dragon boating sexuality? We can't be sure...but we know one thing for certain: the cheetah is definitely the fastest land animal. A little Trivial Pursuit titbit there, for those that could be bothered to read this far...and who didn't go to school to know that fact in the first place.

So, everyone's dying to know what happened at the Caldecotte National League extravaganza two weeks ago. Well, the Captain didn't get drunk. The Chairman did...but disappointingly none of the Secklow crew made it to Pink Punters or, indeed, any watering hole staying open later than midnight. The whole team will be reprimanded accordingly...having said before the event that no-one likes getting spanked at home, there will be some bare buttock repercussions in this club...that's just what everyone signs up to when they join. It's not mentioned specifically on the membership form, but no-one actually seems to mind...I mean, come on: the membership fees are low...

As for the racing, well...we contrived to be involved in several close races (which is what it's all about at the end of the day) and two photo finishes. And we lost them both. As a result, Secklow will be buying the BDA a new camera with a proper lense and a maroon persuasion...either that or we'll get an extendable dragon's head (as we know, it's all about the extra couple of inches at the end of the day...) but the event was a success and we came away with two beautiful cow trophies, which both need naming. Any suggestions would be welcome...

    

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